Today is January 1st of 2013.
The year 2012 is a blur of emotional and financial costs and rewards. Moving did a number on me and my family but the rewards will likely be ten fold as we continue to settle into our new lives in California. The friends and memories of Texas will forever be a part of us – of me – and our years in Texas helped mold me into who I am today. One of the farewell gifts I received from close friends in Texas will soon find a place on my wall (after I get my house updated) but the idea is embedded in my heart.
I spent nearly 17 years living in Texas. I served in the US Air Force in TX, I became a wife in TX, I became a mom (three times over) in TX, I became a college graduate in TX (twice over), I became a teacher in TX, I became of D-mom (twice over) in TX, I became a blogger in TX. I became ME in TX. I am more Texan than I am anything else even though I ‘grew up’ in Wisconsin. That’s a sentence I never thought Id write. Honestly when I lived in TX I laughed at the bumper stickers that said “I wasn’t born here but I got here as fast as I could”. I believed that one day I would become an East Coast girl – a New England girl. I wanted to be able to say things like “wicked smaht” and not sound odd. I never imagined I’d be living on the west coast yet here I am. So what will I become in CA? What will I make all the mountains, huge cities, vast coastlines, immense trees, and congested freeways? How will they continue to shape me, change me?
I’ve been here nearly 4 months. I’ve been fighting to hold on to TX. But today is January 1st – a new year. Maybe today I choose to stop fighting and choose to make the most of what CA has to offer. Today I choose to find the beauty in the world around me. Today is easy – my kids are not in school so there is no stress and no lunch boxes to pack and no worry about blood sugars while they are away from me, Chad and I have been relaxed with no schedules to keep and extended periods of time to just enjoy each other.
Next week will be more difficult as school resumes and I have a continued fight with Sugarboy’s teacher. I will do my best to put on my big girl panties and stay focused on my sons wellbeing while trying to keep my emotions at bay.
I will take small steps toward de-cluttering our home so as to avoid becoming overwhelmed. I will require my kids to take part in keeping our home tidy, it will be a fight but it will build character and help them to learn the value of material items and the value of a less cluttered life.
I will strive to prepare healthier meals with more veggies than carbohydrates and smile as I encourage my dear children to enjoy them.
I will walk more.
I will dance more.
I will kiss and hug my kids and husband more.
I will encourage my kids to eat less sugar and dose insulin before meals.
Maybe my list is long already but I have one more. I will not berate myself if I don’t accomplish all of thee above perfectly instead I will recognize my effort and see each morning as a chance to try again.
Here’s to a new year, a new state, and a new state of mind.