Wordless Wednesday

Technically it is Thursday at 12:17am – but since I haven’t slept I consider it still Wednesday. Just say’n.

This is Sugarboy – it was last night. I sent him to bed and promised to be up in minute to tuck him in. I got sidetracked and didn’t get upstairs for about 10 min. When I got there I noticed my boy was not in his bed – he was on his floor – in the same position he slept as an infant on my chest. I had all these warm fuzzy feelings remembering such a tender time. I miss the baby time with my kids – I would do it again if I could.

Then I noticed his shirt – It is the back of a JDRF walk shirt. I was confused for a second but I didn’t understand why. Then it hit me – In the time I took to reminisce about my dear boy as an infant – his blood sugar may be dropping. Maybe he didn’t make it to his bed because he is low. Why am I not testing him? Stop standing here taking pictures and get his meter – run!

Turns out his sugars were spot on – the thing is they very well could have been low. I hate that I can’t just enjoy the sweet moments of my kids without the elephant stepping on my damn toes. (BTW those are my toes – and yes my jammies have bubble gum balls on them)

Post Scriptum: I suck at wordless wednesday.


What Dreams May Come

What Dreams May Come

This morning I woke up and thought the previous 48 hours were a dream. Then I saw the mini meter on my nightstand and Middles sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. I so badly wanted it to all be a dream.

I continue to check Middles blood sugars first thing in the morning, before meals and postprandial. Today his numbers did not spike above 149 and he woke up at 93. He was away from me over the lunch period so I could not check and he was not comfortable taking a meter with him to a friends house. He doesn’t want his friends to know until he hears it from a doctor.

I have not allowed him high glycemic index foods. Yes I know people with Type 1 diabetes can eat the cupcake but right now I am going to try my best to limit the fast acting carbs and let his pancreas rest (not giving him insulin yet). I’m trying to avoid the spikes and preserve beta cell function.

If newly diagnosed people go through a “honeymoon” phase I would say Middles is still in the “engagement” phase. I know the storm is coming (although I pray hourly that for the first time in my entire life I am wrong).

Middles fell asleep in my arms last night while lying in my bed with me. He was crying and voicing all his fears. His last words before sniffling himself to sleep were “at least now I get to attend Texas Lions Camp.” Texas Lions Camp is a week long sleep away camp for kids with diabetes. Sweetstuff will be attending for the 3rd time this summer and Sugarboy will go for the first time this year since he is now old enough. The problem is – camp is full. There is a waiting list.

My first prayer is that I am so very very wrong.
If I can’t have that – maybe there will be someway to get Middles into camp.

Good can always be Better

Always Room for Improvement

Today’s Diabetes Blog Week prompt: We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!

Like so many of the wonderfully terrific blogs I have read today I too have a loooooonnnnnnggggg list of things I could improve on. Trying to find just one would be too difficult so I cheated. I have TWO kids with Diabetes so that means I get TWO things that I need to improve on. ; P

First my dear Sweetstuff – I meant to ask her what she needed to improve on but she is an emotional mess lately and I was afraid to ask the simple question “Hey baby – what would you say is the one thing that you could improve on regarding your diabetes?”
I was afraid because knowing her like I know myself in the state that she is currently in she would get defensive, take it as an attack, argue that she is trying her best, etc etc – she would likely add something about the two pimples she has, the fact that her bangs do this odd flippy thing and her bff is being a total butt. (I love my daughter I love my daughter – it’s only the hormones it’s only the hormones)

So I avoided asking her and instead thought of all the things she does great – checks bs often, doses insulin in a timely manner, recognizes symptoms of lows or highs, advocates, educates, changes pump sites, changes her lancet every morning, carries fast acting carbs, and tests before physical activities.
With all this stuff she does so right I was having a difficult time thinking of the one thing she could do better. Then I realized the one thing she could do better is something she currently doesn’t do at all – log BS and Doses. She did it while she was on her pump hiatus but then stopped as soon as she put back on Alice (her pump –  because diabetes is a rabbit hole and because the magic liquid inside it makes her get smaller (lower) after eating cookies which make her get bigger (higher) – Have I said how much I love my daughter and her inner nerd).

Thus the one thing I feel Sweetstuff could do better is begin logging again – yes it is a total pain in the arse but hand written logs do more for her and I than downloading her pump each week (haven’t downloaded in over a month). Logs keep us vigilant. They help keep us accountable.
I might suggest this advice to her tomorrow if her pimples have cleared up and she is having a good hair day.

Now for Sugarboy –

While my dear boy can be very independent I am still very much involved with his care. I include carb notes with his lunch, I fill the insulin cartridges, I do most the infusion set placements, I count his carbs at meals that do not come pre-packaged. I sometimes even check his blood sugars when he is awake. He is more than capable – but how can I resist this cute face when he asks me to check for him. Overall he does very well with most diabetes care that I give him and I continuously give him additional control as he requests it.
The thing that Sugarboy could improve on (and me too) is reducing the amount of processed sugar that he consumes (not being used to treat a low bs).
He is an 8 year old by with a sweet tooth. He is always asking for ice cream, M&Ms, Laffy Taffy and lollipops. I’m a sucker too and if his blood sugars are decent I allow him to have the treats. I guess one could say I practice what I preach. I am always educating the general public that a person with Type 1 diabetes can eat everything a person without diabetes can eat. The part I forget when I am at home confronted by a small dimpled child with eyes as bright as the sea is that just because they CAN eat it doesn’t mean they SHOULD eat it. It is a fact that the less carbs (especially the fast acting carbs found in processed sugars) a person with diabetes consumes the better – not to say a person with diabetes should go carb free – I think that is unrealistic for small kiddos especially. I do think reducing carb intake can truly improve blood glucose control and make managing diabetes a tad bit easier  – well until PMS, or Job Change, or it starts raining, or there is traffic, or or or or or…..

So to recap – encourage hormonal pre-teen to start logging again (carefully) and discourage Sugarboy from eating too many processed sugars.
This will be a piece of cake (if the cake has to be weighed, ingredients determined, multiple math problems solved, and then more calculations to be completed to determine the correct dose of insulin is required at bedtime after a day of swimming, hiking, and soccer) – like I said easy peasy.

Juggling Hats

Not Enough time in the day or energy in my body.

I started this blog because I wanted a place to share my thoughts and feelings regarding all that goes with being a parent of a child with diabetes. The thing is I’m not ONLY a parent of children with diabetes. I am also just a parent, wife, substitute teacher, volunteer, home maker, pet owner, PTA member, friend and daughter, and sister.
Juggling all my hats isn’t always easy but is much the same for all parents with and without children with special needs. A special shout out to all those that fit all the above categories and work full time outside the home. I love what I do and I love my life. I wouldn’t change a thing except to one day have a cure for diabetes – I would gladly hang that hat up.

I celebrate success when I stop long enough to notice it. Mostly I feel I am skating by, doing my best but always coming up short. As a parent of children with diabetes I know there is always more to learn. I should be doing more basal testing with the kids to tweak basal rates – a fabulous feature of using a pump. In fact for the last week I have seen near perfect numbers for my dd at the 2 or 3am checks but she wakes up in the low 200’s – thus a basal tweak between 3 and 6am should be done. Why haven’t I done it – because between the time I wake kids up, feed them breakfast, pack lunches, write carb count notes, get kids off to school, toss in a loud or two of laundry, go to work myself,  run by the grocery store, fix a dinner (usually forgetting to add green veggies), help with homework, fight about showers, spend some time with my dear husband, reply to various emails regarding volunteer work, PTA stuff, clean the toilets, feed the pets, fold laundry (usually never put it away – it sits in baskets at the top of the stairs), check in with my own mom and dad – weekly, wash dishes, etc etc etc – I forget to download the pumps and make adjustments to basal rates, carb ratios, and correction factors. I try at least once in between quarterly endo appointments to download and make corrections rather than waiting for the Endo to suggest them. This too I know I fail at since I know of many parents and patience that download their pumps and meters weekly and some that keep written logbooks. It is knowing of those awesome parents and patients that I slip into the feeling of always being behind the curve.

I read a handful of blogs by parents of cwd or written by Type 1 diabetics themselves. Up till recently I never “subscribed” to any of them or “followed” any of them. I was a casual visitor where I would catch up on a couple weeks worth of posts late at night while waiting on a blood sugar to be in a good range that I felt comfortable going to bed. I would read blogs in which the author would be upset about a blood sugar in the low 200’s and I would think – oh good Lord what would the author think of the low 400’s my daughter ran for half a day until we figured out a bad site. What would they think of the spikes that the kids get all the time because I am not always around to insist on a dose at least 10 minutes prior to eating – thus they will wait to dose until after they have eaten 60 grams of carbs causing a number in the upper 300s two hours after eating. So my new resolution is to actually subscribe the the blogs/tweets of the people I admire the most in the DOC (diabetes online community) – that way I will get emails when they blog or tweet – thus causing me to be thinking more often about how I can be better with diabetes care and in turn help teach my kids to be better – more diligent at least.

Now if I could just stop time long enough to get a cardio work out in –
Notice there is no entry for exercise. I know I need to exercise. I recently found the power cord for my elliptical (it was lost for nearly 2 years when we replaced the carpet upstairs – I didn’t know it was missing all that time because I hadn’t even thought to get on the elliptical until Jan 1st hit and the whole New Years Resolution thing kicked in.) The power cord was found almost a month ago but I have yet to get on the elliptical. I just can’t figure out when I would get on it. I have friends that go to the gym at 5am and make it home to wake up their kids in time to get them ready for school. That won’t be me – I cherish every minute of sleep I can fit in between midnight and 3am and then 3am to 5:30am. Giving up even those 30 minutes between 5 and 5:30 would be torture. I think the negative effects of sleep deprivation would out weigh the positive effects of a cardio workout. I know exercise is important and would lower my stress levels, help me sleep more restfully when I do sleep, and just make me happy. It’s just finding that time.

wow what a wall of text – sorry