“Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.” Annie Reed (Meg Ryan – Sleepless in Seattle)
Why am I quoting Sleepless? Well this is ‘mostly’ a blog about diabetes, or being a parent of 3 kids with diabetes really so I’m sure many will expect me to go on some rant about how everything happens for a reason and thus my kids (all fricken 3 of them) have diabetes for some profound reason that will possibly someday reveal itself – or not, or whatever. But honestly I don’t know that everything happens for a reason, sometimes it just happens or at least appears to just happen because the reason never does present itself all wrapped up neatly so we can say ‘aha!’. Whether or not there is some grand plan or destiny, my kids still have diabetes and we still just move on – some days better than others. This post however is not about how or why diabetes has joined our family. Well not exactly but then again diabetes is a narcissistic bastard and makes everything about ‘it’ eventually.
I think my rant is over – well my diabetes rant. It was shorter lived than I would have anticipated.
So back to “Sleepless”. (still here I could go into a rant about how little sleep I sometimes get as a parent of children with diabetes due to the frequent shenanigans of diabetes – alas still not my intention with this post) Moving on – (literally)
I am quoting the movie ‘Sleepless In Seattle’ because Seattle is all I can think about right now. My dear husband has accepted a new job in the suburbs of Seattle. For any newbies that are just finding my blog you should know that we only just moved to Northern California from TX 14 months ago. I think he (my husband) is trying to kill me slowly via induced anxiety. Obviously accepting a job in another state is not an accident (going back to what Annie said in Sleepless), one doesn’t trip and land 800 miles away. Still – is it our destiny to move to Seattle? Maybe or maybe it is just good financial sense and career planning.
For the record – I am not happy. Moving to CA from TX (having lived in TX for over 17 years) was incredibly difficult. I spent the first 6 months in the fetal position on my shower floor or sobbing while trying to scrub 30 years of dirt from the grout in between the kitchen tiles in the home we purchased when we moved here (seriously I can’t tell if it is ground in dirt or a very poor choice of grout color with white tiles.)
I think it is cruel irony that just a month ago I spent a couple of hours at the DMV finally getting a CA drivers license and now I will need a Washington license. (disclaimer – I have no idea if I used the word irony correctly – I swear Alanis screwed us all in our understanding of the word irony – or maybe its just me.)
Many people told me it takes about a year, sometimes longer to find your footing after a big move. They were mostly right. Although it took me a bit less having moved to such a beautiful place. It’s hard to stay sad in a place with amazing weather, picture perfect beaches, and so much to do. It is also difficult to stay sad while watching my kids thrive. They have all built wonderful friendships with amazing kids of all different cultures, religions and races. I am sad to leave. I am sad to leave the friends I have made most defiantly but even more sad for my kids.
My daughter is the only one of my three that knows we are moving. When my husband and I were discussing the opportunity I wanted to gauge my daughters reaction. I put a hypothetical question to her. I asked her “hypothetically, if we had to move out of the area would you prefer to move in the middle of the school year so you could meet new friends before beginning high school or would you prefer to finish out your 8th grade year?” Sweetstuff is a smart cookie and she knew it was a loaded question. She basically said she wouldn’t move. Then a few hours later she said she wouldn’t move until the play for which she is stage manager is over in January. A few days later she saw my notes about relocation near my computer. She turned to me and said “mom, the word ‘hypothetical’, I don’t think you are using it right.” (She shares my love of the Princess Bride)
She knows we are moving. She doesn’t want to move until the end of the school year but we haven’t made any promises. 7 months would be a long time to wait. We need to sell our home before buying a home in Washington and now is the time to sell. Staying until the end of school here would mean renting a place here and moving all our belongings ourselves prior to the big move. My heart aches as I watch her struggle with what she will be loosing.
Moving is difficult for anyone. Moving with diabetes is a pain in the ass. While I am and have been disappointed in our current insurance carrier for being such hard asses about approving new diabetes technology, specifically the Dexcom G4 for those under 17 as well as more accurate meters and test strips, our actual pediatric endo team has been fabulous. They will be a hard act to follow for any endo team we find in our new home. They began helping us get set up with appointments and supplies before we even moved here to Northern California. At each of the kids appointments they have been incredibly thorough and helpful with basal changes, ratios and overall concerns. Prior to making the decision to move I had asked the endo team to place orders for new pumps for Sweetstuff and Sugarboy. Was gonna just get Pings again but our wonderful endo nurse told me that the Tandem Tslim was now approved for kids 12 and up. See – that is how thoughtful they are. She knew or remembered that Sweetstuff would want the cool new pump and made sure I was aware that it was now available via our insurance. Must admit I am so glad that we will be getting new pumps before leaving as both kids pumps are out of warranty. Middles may also be starting to pump soon too – but that’s another post.
So there it is, what’s been on my mind the last couple weeks. We have only made the final decision in the last couple days. I had held on to the hope that something would keep us here but the opportunity for my husband is just too good. Alas – onward and upward. If you are reading this and live near Seattle or have contacts in Seattle I would love to hear from you. Having found a parents of cwd prior to moving to our current home was a tremendous help in deciding where to live and meeting new people in the know.
Prayers of understanding for my kids wouldn’t hurt either. I know moving isn’t life threatening and doesn’t put our family in danger of financial ruin and we all have our health and we have each other so I do count my blessings but still it is emotional and honestly I just get tired of putting more crap on my kids – they have enough to deal with, yes even though it could always be worse.
“To some extent, Seattle remains a frontier metropolis, a place where people can experiment with their lives, and change and grow and make things happen.” Tom Robbins