Hi my name is Christina and I have anger issues. That is a bit of an exaggeration – although my kids might suggest it is accurate. I will admit I have been and sometimes still am a yeller. I don’t like to yell it hurts my head and truly accomplishes nothing. I obtain better results if I whisper. I have friends who never seem to raise their voices to their children. The kids seem about as well-adjusted as mine though – each with their own issues.
My kids do have some aggression issues – but only towards each other. None of them have ever been aggressive towards others. However, if any one of them gets overly frustrated it can be like dogs fighting I almost have to throw a blanket over them or spray them with water to break it up. There don’t seem to be any rules either – punching, slapping, pushing, kicking, all fair methods of beating the crud out of each other.
I’ve never been the spanking type. I don’t judge those who do use that method of discipline. It is just that my folks were spankers and slappers. I don’t feel I learned anything from those moments of discipline. I have occasionally given it go – always unsuccessful – just made me feel cruddy and I am certain my kids learned nothing from it. So where did all the physical aggression toward each other come from?
The physical aggression isn’t even the worst of it. They are often just mean to each other. Middles intentionally annoys his sister with every ounce of his being. Sweetstuff (seems odd writing that right now seeing as she just slapped the crud out of middles then slammed the TV cabinet door but not before screaming at me and telling me she hated me – sigh…) anyway she has zero patience for her brothers – after all she does believe the world revolves around her (do most tween girls???) Sugarboy is the devious and manipulative one. He is so good at manipulation that often adults and kids don’t know they have been played for sometime after the event. Recently he did admit “my cuteness is failing me – you don’t say yes so much anymore.”
Sometimes I try to excuse poor behavior between the kids if one or more of their blood sugars are wacky but I don’t feel as though I am doing them any favors. Will their supervisors or teachers excuse poor behavior due to diabetes related issues. Likely not. Plus since Sweetstuff has never had a single behavior or academic issue at school – but has had numerous high or low blood sugars – clearly she has the ability to make proper choices while under d-influence. Same goes for Sugarboy – the one time he had an altercation with another boy at school his numbers were spot on. Middles is the only one who has a few behavior issues at school but never toward other students – more of arguing back to the teacher when she tells him to stop talking. (seriously he will argue till the cows come home if he believes he is right) So back to not allowing D to be an excuse for poor choices – I would love to hear feedback from adult PWD and how blood sugars effected your behavior while growing up and how they affect your behavior now.
Meanwhile I will be interviewing anger management specialists for my kids who honestly seem to hate each other more often than like each other. Where did I go wrong?